The Yummy Taste of Failure

Posted by Stephanie on September 23, 2018


Fridays are for Kpop ladies nights. Friday nights are the nights when all our Denver friends rally, watch Kpop and unwind from the week. Sometimes it’s just the thought of the goal of Friday Nights that get us through the week. Music, Friends, pets, milling children, yep, it’s the life. Though who am I kidding? The main part about Friday nights? The food and drink. Copious amounts of food and drink. Yeah, that’s what really gets us through the week. After a particularly challenging week, we decided it was time to pull out the big guns.

Korean BBQ.

Oh yeah, nothing quite soothes those rough edges like meat, meat, and more meat eased down by waves of gin and prosecco. We all bring something to go along with. It’s part of the ritual of the night. We all meet at SaraG’s bearing something delicious. While I was wandering Whole Foods looking around for anything vaguely Asian and, not coming across anything that would make anyone stand back and go “great idea!”, I had….a great idea.

Plan? Recreate the Pornado or Korean Potato Tornado.

I looked up a recipe and found one which looked fairly straightforward. Oh, I was ready to wow those around me when I whipped these bad boys up. It would be legendary! Friday night history would be made!

Hrm. Not so much.

My history in Korean cooking has been hit or miss for a while now. While I make an amazing, possibly award-winning dukbokki, my spicy cold Korean noodles are absolutely something to write home about, my kimchi jjigae has magical healing qualities, my kimbap is supremely passable, beyond that? Ew. Not so much. Horrible fails. So this could only go one of two ways.

This is what the Korean Potato Tornato, affectionately nicknamed the Pornado looks like in the wild:

Mmmmmm…. I’ve had it in Flushing back when I lived in New York. Actually, I may have instagrammed it. Let me check. I did!

Instructions seemed pretty straightforward.

Do NOT collect these ingredients from Whole Foods. Once you make a plan, realize just how much that parmesan cheese is going to cost you, put down the basket and back away slowly.

When you realize SaraG is out of paprika, begin bastardizing two different recipes one which calls for paprika and one which calls for ramen seasoning and Korean chili powder.

Collect these ingredients:

Microwave potatoes until soft (just a smudge)

Skewer potatoes onto sticks until they look like some sort of potato bouquet worthy of N.Flying

Since you have that song now in your head, put on N.Flying.

Take a sharp knife and cut around the potato in a spiral pattern.

Realize you cooked the potato for too long and watch in irritation as they fall apart.

Try again.

Realize you cooked all the potatoes for too long, try to cook some more. (A whole bag of potatoes doesn’t seem so silly now, does it Past Stephanie?)

Wait for the other potatoes to be done, continue practicing on now mushy potatoes. (Turns out, one should read directions as who knew potatoes continued to cook after they were out of the microwave?)

Once potatoes are cool (who are you kidding, you’re not waiting for them to cool are you?) attempt to spiral again. Only get two workable almost spirals that were absolutely NOT going to stick to the skewer.

Mix the parmesan (8 oz), pepper and chili powder (again, why read an instruction? Just toss in until it looks ‘good’) and melt a stick of butter.

Realize that you’ve now gone through an entire bag of potatoes and have nothing but partially clumped, spiraled potatoes in front of you.

Give up.

Remember curly fries are also awesome.

Coat in butter and seasoning. Bake.

Enjoy your non-pornado as a potato is a potato whether it’s on a stick or not.


****Actually, these were really, really yummy and would totally make them again for everyone. If I were to suggest anything, I’d suggest to follow the directions and only put them into the microwave for a minute and a half and then let cool. I’m guessing that will make it so it bakes but not soft enough to crumble as you’re attempting to spiral.

Another successful Friday Night! If you want to attempt the Korean Potato Tornado, you can try the recipe I attempted on Tasty!

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