Dear C-Bag Behind Me In Line,
If you are unfamiliar with term C-Bag, don’t worry, it is a completely made up term by me and my friends, just rest assured, it is a derogatory term for people like you.
I understand you were upset that you did not get into tonight’s Free Korean Movie Night viewing of what is currently the hottest Korean movie in all the land, Roaring Waters. As you no doubt noticed, as I am right in front of you, I did not get in either.
I know. It’s a bummer.
However, as it is the hottest movie right now, you had to expect the line for this was going to be quite long, and, as it is a small theater, with very limited seating, there was going to be a big chance that you were not going to get in. I mean, it’s a free ticket to a blockbuster movie.
So, your not getting in is not a big conspiracy against you perpetrated by the Korean Cultural Service. This was not, as you put it, some way for them to trick you. Why, I ask? Or more so, how? How would hornswoggling you out of a free ticket be of any benefit to them at all? Never, in all the times that I have been to a Korean movie event put on by them have they ever asked for us to sign up for anything, asked for money in anyway, or even asked us to be on any sort of mailing list. No, they do this out of the kindness of their hearts in order to spread the word on Korean entertainment, and more importantly, Korean culture in general.
So you didn’t get in. Lots of us didn’t. However, the women who run this, who are always cheery and unfailingly nice, did what they could to make the best of a bad situation by doing a (again free) raffle for 10 pairs of actual tickets for the newest Korean movie headed to the AMC theater. Most of us said, “WOW! Free tickets to a theater, and I don’t have to buy anything? You guys are great!”
But no, not you.
Instead you continued to complain calling both monkey shines and shenanigans. For some reason, because I was next in line to you, you assumed I was your compatriot in complaints. Alas, you were sadly very mistaken. You remind me of the customers I have to deal with on a daily basis, the worst of them who complain about something that no one has any control over. Through years of training, I immediately went into customer service mode, trying to assure you that no, they had not let people in special, that the line had been moving, letting people in the whole time we’d been standing there–didn’t you notice that w, while yes slowly, were steadily moving forward? I’d also assured you that in all the times I’ve been to the movie night, this was the very first time I’d been turned away and that I was happy to continue to stand in line for the raffle. But as you continued to complain to me, to the very harried lady running it, and anyone else who would listen I remembered something very important.
I was not at work.
I was not on the clock, I was not required to make you change your mind, to make you try to look on the bright side, of what, in the scheme of things, wasn’t a terrible day ruining situation. I didn’t have to be nice to you.
When you said to me “I’m not going to be tricked by them again,” as they tried to give you a raffle ticket, I let myself go and adamantly replied that they were not tricking anyone, it was just a popular movie. They had no control over how many people showed up. (Yes, I can’t help it, as irritated as you made me, that’s about as nasty as I get, so consider yourself lucky.)
As we then came to a stalemate, you finally realizing, no, I was not on your side, and had no intention of joining you on your bashing, and I realized you had no intention of coming out from under your rock of asshole-itude, we parted ways.
In conclusion, Mrs C-Bag, you are an unpleasant person who does not deserve free Korean Movie Night, and I hope we don’t cross paths again. As then I will have to open my can of overly polite whoop-ass.