Dear B-Leads, Wannabe Girlfriends, and other General Assorted Hangers-On

Posted by Stephanie on January 31, 2014

General

I’ve seen you and your like hanging around with too much of an abundance of late, and I think it’s time we have a little talk. I’m afraid to be the one to tell you this, but here it goes. No one likes you. I’m sorry, but it’s true. As it’s clear none of you are going to succeed in whatever harebrained schemes you’ve concocted to ensnare our hero or heroine, you should just stop. You and your inability to get over yourselves is making us hate you.

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Now usually, you take one of two routes. Some of you, the really dumb and/or vicious ones, are up front and open with your delusions, insisting, no matter how many times you are told of the contrary, that you and the hero or heroine are meant to be together. That no matter how much your purported ‘loved one’ swears to the opposite, that in the end, you will get together. To this group of characters, I’m here to say, GET OVER YOURSELVES. You can’t force a person to love you, no matter how many wrenches you throw into the plot.blackmail2
There is nothing worse than a character who can’t take NO for an answer.

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These heroes and heroines do not belong to you. You do not own them and therefore you have no say over who they see or speak to, what they do, or where they go. You, with your bullying and cloying attitudes, are only forcing the people you purport to love away from you.emotional manipulation2

Now, the second type is not quite as irritating, so I mention you in this letter just to warn you away for your own good. Who is this category? Well, you know who you are. Where the first group is more in your face “I’m gonna take your man/woman”, the second group (or the wannabe’s) are the ones who love our heroes/heroines from afar, usually spending their time looking longingly after their misplaced love. You attempt to incite pity (or favor) in the viewer with your silent wannabe love. However, this will not work on me either. If you aren’t character enough to step up and take your chance before the romance starts between the hero and heroine, you’ve lost the game. You can’t then realize what you’ve missed out on and then put in your bid.

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Don’t you know? It’s already too late for you.

Once hero and/or heroine has clapped eyes onto their true mate, that’s all there is. No second chances. Of course, that romance will not be smooth going, but what romance is? However, when our couple hits that rough patch, don’t try to get in there, being all supportive, as, again, it’s not going to work, and you’re really only hurting yourself.

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If you do take the chance stepping out of your lurker shell, the friend zone, or whatever other corner you managed to back yourself into before the couple meets, and get shot down, don’t keep trying. This will only turn you into the first type of wannabe, and all viewer sympathy for you will be lost.

Now, I’m sure some of you are lovely characters. I’m sure you’re attentions are just misdirected, and in a different story, you could very well be the heroine or hero. However, this is not your story and, until it is your story, for the love of mike stay away from my OTP.

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Just a warning, Stephanie gets very cranky if you get in the way of her OTP.

Some of you B-leads will say, but what about us? Aren’t we here to try and steal the girl? To which I say yes. All the above is even more irritating if the character in question is making that much fuss and doesn’t even rate B-Lead storylines. These characters really are just annoying space filler. But you, B-lead, are a little different. Just a little. In many cases, the writer will toss you in there, against the main couple, way longer than necessary. This is not your fault, but rather, the writer or the production who wants to keep some sort of faux-tension as to who the heroine (usually in this case it is always the heroine) is going to end up with.

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If this is the case, don’t get your hopes up. The writer may want us to think you have a chance. But you don’t. We as watchers are not fooled. Yes, you may have our sympathy, heck, in our hearts, we may even agree with you that you are, of course, the much better match to our heroine, but we know the inevitability of our real couple.lurker2

And if, on the off chance, you are able to win out, it only means that something horrible has happened to our actual lead, and you are a poor substitute. This story will always be known as a ‘bittersweet story’. Now is that really what you want for yourself? To always be known as second best? No, I don’t think you do.

So in conclusion, B-leads, Wannabe Girlfriends, and general hangers on, just do yourselves (and us) a favor: throw in the towel. Call it a day. Go find your own story and get out of ours.
Sincerely,
Stephanie

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